Carmen update: There really isn’t anything new to tell you about Carmen. She is the same. We are alternating morphine and Ativan around-the-clock and she is very peaceful and calm.
***
After three weeks at NY Grandma and Grandpa Camp, Lauren came home today. Tonight, we told her about Carmen. Dave and I both prayed and prayed for wisdom. Without some divine intervention, I didn’t know how in the world we would know what to say. Dave said he would take the lead and I gladly let him.
We sat on the couch and Dave said, “Lauren, you know that Carmen has a disease, Tay Sachs. And you know that Carmen is probably going to Heaven before the rest of us, right?”
Lauren answered, very seriously, “Yeah, I know that. Can we play Polly Pockets?”
Dave laughed a little and said, “Yes, we can play but first I want you to know that Carmen is going to Heaven soon. Probably within a week.”
Lauren’s sweet little face fell and she was silent. Finally she said, “It’s hard. I’ve always loved Carmen. Especially when she could laugh and smile. I’ll miss her.”
I could barely get this out but I said, “Lauren, the second Carmen gets to Heaven she will be able to laugh and smile again.”
Lauren replied, “No! Before that! The millisecond she gets there!”
I said, “You are right! What do you think the first thing is that Carmen will say?”
Lauren answered in typical six year old fashion, “My name.”
I asked, “You think the first thing Carmen will say is Lauren?”
“Yes.”
“I bet you are right!”
We changed direction a bit after that. We talked about Carmen going to Heaven now and us going later. Lauren said, “But it’s such a long time for me. Maybe 50 years before I see Carmen!” We agreed that, yes, it will seem like a long time to us but we will see Carmen again.
We ended our talk by praying together as a family. Dave thanked God so much that Carmen is part of our family and asked that we be able to keep her comfortable.
Lauren prayed, “Dear Lord, will you please tell Hope when she is older about Carmen so she will know who Carmen is when she sees pictures? Amen.”
Somehow we got through this conversation. I’m pretty sure God was sitting right there with us.
***
I have to share something sweet that happened today. Every time we have talked to Lauren on the phone over the past few weeks, she has asked if Hope is crawling yet. Each time I have had to say, “No, not yet!” This morning I told Hope that Lauren was coming home today so she was going to have to learn to crawl; her sister was counting on her. I got Hope up from her nap and set her on the floor. She saw a toy a few feet away, got up on her hands and knees and leaped forward! I couldn’t believe my eyes! She has been rocking back and forth on her hands and knees for a few days but this was the first time I saw her move forward. The rest of the day she practiced scooting/leaping/crawling around the room. At 6 months and one week, Hope is a crawler. Lauren is thrilled. 🙂
Bless Lauren’s heart. You all are amazing!! Still praying for you all to feel His peace surround you.
Again we say, “Praise the Lord!”
Don’t want to take the prayer focus off your family as you will need much, much more, but would appreciate prayers for our little guys as we break the news to Carmen’s cousins. They love and prayer for her all the time and will take it hard. Especially Dakota.
Yes. Please do pray for all of our extended family members as well, especially the other cousins who range in ages up to ten years old. I agree with Wes that Dakota and Kadin will probably take it the hardest as they are the oldest among the cousins and have spent the most time with Carmen over the past few years. The six year old cousin in Colorado might also take it hard so please also pray for her.
I agree with Wes…
At the same time, yes…she is taking it very hard…very upset that we haven’t seen Carmen in a long time. When we told her she wanted to see her right away and didn’t understand why we couldn’t get on a airplane this moment to come.
She asked me to read today’s journal entry and when I read the part about Lauren saying this is hard, she burst into tears.
She is praying for Lauren and wants her to know that she is praying for her and is sad for her. She can’t wait to come out and give Lauren a big hug and pray with her.
Oh, and a little funny I’ve been meaning to tell you about: Little Miss has decided that Hope should be called Joy. She prays for Lauren and Joy all the time. She’s insistent. And when she sees you wants to ask you if it’s okay that she calls Hope, Joy. Funny things the children come up with…but maybe there’s something to that.
As hard as it is right now…I am confident that God will bring joy in the morning…it might be a long time coming, but He promises that we have Hope and Joy in Him.
Love and hugs to all,
Praying for the boys too…
Aunt Trish
Thinking of you…
Lauren is wise beyond her years.. and all the credit goes to the two of you. I am in tears reading your conversation with Lauren. I can’t imagine a sister having to say goodbye to her little sister. It hurts too much to think about it. And sweet Hope, bring a ray of sunshine into these dark days. I am thinking of you all constantly. Strength and peace to you. xoxo
Love and prayers are with you all. Kisses to three very special sisters!!!
Love you guys!
Keeping all of you in my prayers. You have been truly blessed with three amazing daughters!!! HUGS to all of you.
I am praying at this very moment for God to lay His ever so loving arms around your precious family and provide you with peace and comfort during this very difficult time. I will continue to hold you and your family up in prayer.
Tears and prayers for you as you prepare to usher your precious baby girl into Heaven. Your conversation with Lauren was beautiful. My heart goes out to all of you as I know how very difficult this time is for you.
You are an amazing family and an example to follow. Thank you for sharing the conversation with Lauren. It will help us when the time comes and Philip will start asking about his brother Timo. It is hard, but you are doing great: as parents, as a family. We really love Lauren’s answer and way to accept the inevitable. You have prepared her well. This will make her strong for life. Praying for you to continue feeling God’s closeness and love for your family.
Praying for Carmen. Always
This broke my heart and made me smile at the same time. Continuing to pray for each of you.
Good morning,
I honestly can’t imagine how terribly hard it must be to see your precious daughter lying in her bed looking so peaceful and know very soon she will take one last breath…
I know she will be in Heaven whole and happy just like the rest of you and I know some of you have already experienced this but for me it is beyond my comprehension.
One comfort I have is I know Carmen has experienced life just like the rest of us thanks to a most loving family, she has memories, she knows what it is to be loved.
One day all of you are going to know just how much she loved life and loves each one of you, especially you Lauren, her big sister. I hope that will bring you comfort until you see your daughter once again.
God love you each, Joe
Thank you all so much for your comments, emails, and prayers. We are humbled by your support.
We are thinking about you and hoping for comfort for all.
Hi Dave and Lana, just wanted to let you know that in Cooperstown are and have been praying for you and your family. Certainly, if there is anything at all that we can do for you, do not hesitate to ask. Pastor Jack
I have been checking in, as usual, to read about your amazing family, yet fearful that each time I do, I might read that Carmen has passed away. Though as believers, we know she will indeed be whole and free from the confines that have kept her from enjoying life to the fullest, I also know how hard this will be for all of you not to have her present on earth as part of your family. I do pray for all who have known and loved Carmen. She truly has been a testimony to God’s love and faithfulness, to the value He gives to each one He creates. And because you said “yes” to God to become the family to a child that needed one, Carmen knew that love and security. Who knows but God how much her little heart and mind have absorbed, even as it might have seemed she wasn’t able to do so. I’m so thankful for your faith, which I know will be stretched even more and sustained by our loving God. May He always keep your memories of Carmen vivid. Lauren has been blessed with wisdom beyond her years, as she’s loved and accepted her beautiful sister Carmen. We are sorry for your sadness and coming grief. Yet we do indeed rejoice that Carmen is about to experience healing. It gives extra special meaning to the promise that we will have new bodies in heaven. I know you can’t wait to see her whole, but will be blessed to watch your other girls grow in the meantime.
Nancy in the Midwest
Dear Lana, Dave & family,
My heart goes out to you during this extremely difficult time. Please know that we are praying for you all to have the strength to get through this & praying for Carmen to enter Heaven peacefully. Our thoughts & prayers are with you. Please let me know if there is anything we can do.
Many hugs,
Martina Turner & family
I love that sweet little Lauren–what a wonderful testimony all of you are to God’s grace. Praying for all five of you for God’s peace. Love you
Thank you for posting Lauren’s truthful response to all that is happening with Carmen. I have been praying for her and Hope and asking God to give each girl what they need today in the future to make sense of an event that no child should have to understand. I will add the cousins to my prayers. After all, family is family, whether immediate or extended and if you have felt Carmen’s presence then surely, you will grieve her absence.
Still praying for ALL of you! Janet
Keeping your entire family in my constant thoughts. Lauren is so wise beyond her years. Carmen will certainly look down from Heaven upon Lauren with a big smile on her face and say, ” I love my big sister Lauren….she is such a great big sister!”
Thank you so much for sharing your journey. I’m in North Carolina on a hotel computer, checking your update…
Love you from afar, and praying for you
Kids have an amazing ability to understand. God has amazing capabilities of wrapping his hands around a family that grieves. Thank you for your updates, you are continually raised in prayer on the West Coast…..
Dave and Lana you and your family are deep in our hearts and prayers. Dave and Lana you are the best parents to your 3 most beautiful girls. May God bless you and guide you through this most difficult time. We are with you.
Thinking of you all. While I am not part of a faith community (although your blog has given me inspiration to develop a relationship with God, but that is a different story…), please know my dear friend Mary (and everyone at her church here in Boston) is praying for you.
As I read the sweet words, I am filled with happiness and sadness. The comfort that I hold to is today’s K-Love encouraging word, “Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again – rejoice!” (Philippians 4:4 NLT), “It is written…” has been a comfort to me all day when the attacks of Satan are at hand. Please know that you are in my thought and prayer.
Theresa
LTM memeber
Lana, Dave, Lauren, Carmen and Hope,
As I read through your Journal, I can’t help the tears to come out of my eyes, I just want to hug all of you. What a precious family you are and what a testimony of your walk with the Lord. He sure is present with you and holding you in his hands. I am praying for all of you. Roxana
Thank you for sharing with us how you talked to Lauren about Carmen. You are raising your girls so well! Lauren is an amazing and very intelligent little girl, but you already know that! I am continuing to pray for all of you as you travel this journey and am praying for your extended family as well. Even though I have never met your family in person, I love you all as if you were part of my own family. Rikki
I haven’t read in a while, but I’m glad I did. I just can’t imagine ever having this conversation with my 6 year old and my heart is just breaking for Lauren and for all the cousins. I will be keeping you all in my prayers. Eileen
I’ve been a silent reader for a while now and am so inspired by how courageous and beautiful your family is. I can’t imagine as a parent going through this, but know that without the grace of God how much hard this is. I can’t but help marvel at the beauty and the peace you describe Carmen’s situation to your daughter Lauren. I will pray for all of you.
Praying for peace… peace that passes all understanding.
Praying for peace as well ….
Praying continually for your family. I have a huge lump in my throat as I “listen” to you talk to Lauren about her little sister. There are no words, but just know that I pray for peace for you and your family as you get ready to give Carmen to Him.
I am so very sorry you have to face this.
Debbie
praying for your family. i think of carmen often.
brook
I came here via William Marquardt’s CarePage. Sending prayers out for Carmen and you all at what must be a testing time. Best wishes from England.
love, Nigel XXX
I’ve been following your story for some time. Our daughter, Emma is around the same age as Carmen and we were in process about the same time. I can’t imagine the challenges and joys your family has faced. In Heaven Carmen will surely have a special place and wait for the reunion with those who have loved and cared for her so faithfully. You’re in my prayers and I’ll be sure to hug my own little black haired beauty a little tighter as you prepare to let yours go. Blessings
You get a lot of respect from me for writing these helpful arceslit.