Carmen is very, very comfortable. We are still alternating morphine and Ativan and she is more peaceful than we have ever seen her. It’s impossible to know when she will take her last breath but for today, she is here with us.
I, on the other hand, am completely exhausted. I think I could fall asleep standing up. I am getting enough sleep. It’s emotional exhaustion. My mom (who happens to be a psychologist) always says that when you are under extreme stress, your body shuts down what it can. I think half of my brain has already shut down.
Dave…well, he’s full of energy. Today, I asked him to please go get Hope because I was passed out on the couch. He said sure and danced to the stairs saying, “Woo hoo! I’m Richard Simmons!!!” We respond to stress quite differently. When Dave gets stressed, he tries to lighten things up.
A few weeks ago, before Carmen got sick, I finally finished choosing and photoshopping pictures of Carmen’s life. I wanted to have the pictures all ready so that when the time came to plan her funeral, it would be easy to quickly make a slide show. Dave is now putting together that slide show. So many memories!