With everything going on with Carmen, Lana and I often think about how it will impact Lauren when she is older, which is something we no longer take for granted. How much of this will she remember? Will she be lonely without a sister her age? Will she think we were stupid for adopting when, to the best of our knowledge, we were perfectly able to have “our own” children? Will she turn away from God because He was so unfair to her?
This past Monday afternoon, Lana was out running errands and Carmen was sleeping in her chair in the living room. Lauren and I were playing Polly Pockets on the living room floor. Not that it’s important but I was “The Dad”, “The Mom”, “The Grandmother” and “The Female Doctor”. Lauren was “The Three Sisters”.
Remedy, the David Crowder Band CD, had been playing quietly in the background for about fifteen minutes. Suddenly, Lauren stood up, walked across the room, turned up the stereo, walked back across the room toward me, sat down, picked up one of “The Three Sisters” and continued playing.
“What was that?” I asked Lauren.
“I couldn’t hear,” she said.
The chorus of the current song was just beginning and Lauren chimed right in. “You never let go. You never let go. You never let go-ohhh. You never let go. You never let go. You never let go-ohhh.”
“You know that’s true, don’t you?” I asked. “Even if you have a sister who can’t walk or talk or if she goes to Heaven before the rest of us or…”
“I know, Dad,” Lauren interrupted. “I know that God never lets go. No matter what.”
If only for a moment, all of my worries and fears were gone. She’s gonna be OK, probably even better than that!